Roses of Journals
by AeneanSZ
Summary: AU Shizaya where Izaya is socially awkward journalist and Shizuo as a confident yet flirty photographer. Slow-build and shift in characters. Rating may go up.
1. chapter 1

"Why do you still keep his photos around?"

Izaya glanced sideways to observe his friend who was perched against the kitchen counter as he continued mixing the cups of coffee, a small grin on his lips as he spoke;

"I look great in there,"

"Yeah, and ten times younger," Shinra huffed in reply before setting the framed photograph consisting his friend and a past lover back to its' respective place, "About time to move on, isn't it?"

"Not like everyone doesn't, Shinra," Izaya finally said, sauntered over to give his friend his share of arabica coffee. He took a sip before talking again, "And really, the photo looked just good,"

"Tell me," Crimson orbs twinkled cautiously, "When was the last time you get laid?" Shinra asked him once more, receiving a guttural groan from the raven friend of his.

"Why is that the only issue you ever bring up?"

"'Cause you ain't getting younger, Iz," Shinra commented and Izaya rolled his eyes at the nickname. Shinra held no room in his life to know how his sex life was leading but really, if he wanted to know so bad then he's nowhere near in gaining his trust.

Izaya stayed silent though, half offended by the comment but said nothing till his friend spoke again,

"You're cute and pretty," The soon-to-be doctor said with a hand gesturing in the air, "And barely 21! Get a life, jeez,"

"I appreciate your compliment but with you around I won't take things half as serious as I should," The ravenette sighed exasperatedly as his eyelashes fell against pale skin. Pretty was one thing, but cute was another thing.

"Well then go invite some other 'close friends' of yours," Shinra said in a mocking tone with his fingers in the air doing a quoting sign.

The ravenette didn't get why his friend was so upset all of a sudden but he eyed him warily as he sipped the hot beverage. Shinra could rant on how lonely Izaya was living his current life for all he cared but he wasn't about to cave in to what Shinra claimed as the 'perfect college life'.

Also, it wasn't as if he hadn't had much experience in love. He dated that Shiki guy for two years during highschool years before knowing he wanted to marry a woman with a professional life.

And working as a part-time journalist in an underrated webpage made him wonder if he really was interested in pursuing a full-time career with all the dramas he'd need to live in, considering little dramas like this was already doing a good job in presenting migraines to his head.

"Anyway," Shinra sighed upon not receiving any reply, "Come to the party tonight,"

"Why?"

"Because Heiwajima is a good enough reason?" He smiled, getting all bubbly again when Izaya groaned, so loud that he almost hacked the black coffee threatening to block his trachea and causing discomfort. Well, almost.

"No," He whined, feeling red tinted his cheeks, fingers trembling to just pour the hot liquid down Shinra's head.

"Why not? You like him, didn't you? All manly and stuffs,"

Indeed he did. Heiwajima was that perfect guy in movies that had so many friends, so many colleagues and were friendly with everyone including those of outcasted characters. It was love at first but never in a million years would Izaya admit that to the man, rather he'd pour this hot coffee on his own head instead than to make a dumb confession.

"No and shut up!" Izaya hissed and looked away, cheeks still a nice shade of scarlet. Shinra had a point though, no one else knew about this secret except for this stupid friend of his. He had long since forgotten the forbidden love he shared for said blond when he graduated two years ago but this nerd decided to remind him all over again.

Way to go, Shinra.

"Yes and you're coming,"

"No, and you're annoying," Izaya crossed his arms.

"I know and you're coming,"

"Ain't,"

"Are,"

"Not,"

"Are,"

"Not!"

Shinra nodded his head with a smile before speaking;

"You are 'not' going,"

"I am going!" Horror dawned on Izaya's face as the Freudian slip took place and Shinra gleamed in excitement. Stupid reverse psychology and shit, I read those things! "No no no no no no, I said NOT! Dammit, Shinra—"

"Wonderful. Catch you at 9!" The bespectacled man immediately got up of his seat, took his coat and left Izaya alone in the vast and comfort of his own apartment, still bewildered and shocked at the turn of events.

He slumped his head on the counter as he cursed the Ikebukuro God for having to put him through this phase when the door shut with a soft thump. Now he had no choice but to be anxious on what exactly to wear, what should his hairstyle be and will Shizuo ever noticed him? questions running in his mind for the next 5 hours.

"Fucking Shinra, I'll make your life hellish,"

And Shinra didn't even touch the cup of coffee Izaya had prepared, which further frustrating the multimedia student.

 **Welcome to the awkward life of Izaya Orihara! Fortunately I love this man so much, but I also love torturing him till the wits' end.** **Also, to some that didn't realize this, Izaya is a mass communication student, barely living his awkward life and having a crush on Shizuo since forever. Such a huge dork, the world needs more awkward Izaya fics honestly.** **And no, it's not my first time writing Shizaya fics. I posted some of my works in Wattpad before so c:** **Anyway, comments are appreciated and thanks for reading! Stay tune for moar :D**


	2. Chapter 2

'Shizuo Heiwajima, 24, professional photographer for the Hello Magazine.'

Crimson orbs skimmed the laptop screen in half disinterest;

'Graduated from the Fine Arts faculty in the University of Tokyo.'

And half interest. Who knew that the blond Izaya had been having a crush on would achieve such success?

But the man was bright anyway, and Izaya knew this better than anyone else. He still remembered that one moment when Shizuo helped him with his photography for the school article—

"Hey,"

Shizuo hadn't meant to shock the younger man, but Izaya leapt in surprise, actually falling into his hands and hearing him chuckle before red adorning his cheeks in embarrassment. People stared at them but Izaya scowled at himself.

"Easy, cutie. Didn't mean to scare you,"

Wherever the blond got that nickname, Izaya never knew. But he wasn't about to complain, if the small fists he was punching on the taller blond didn't count, that is.

"You ruined it!!! I was going to take the photo of them kissing to confirm the the rumours and you—"

"Ruined it?" Shizuo gave him a charming smile before letting him see the polaroid photo that he took moments before Izaya had, "Impressive huh?"

"H-how did you—" Languidly he took the photo and examined it. The couple was kissing, just as he had wanted to take, only more perfect. It was solid proof, alright. And it was perfectly timed as if...as if—

"Just ask them." As if reading his mind, Shizuo smiled and pointed to the couple from earlier. "Nothing good will come out if you stay behind these lockers,"

"And nothing good will come out if you keep haunting me like this," Izaya groaned aloud, hating that the memories were finally hunting him down, again. That wasn't their last encounter anyway.

Apparently they met in a few more occasions, and Shizuo called him "cutie" more often than not but the particular incident somehow had a huge effect on his life because that's how he finally found courage to actually become a good journalist.

He never knew he'd actually meet the guy again in like 2 hours time. Perhaps he should phone Shinra and call himself sick? Yeah, that sounded appealing. But the webpage told him Shizuo was still single at the moment;

Could it be the only chance he had?

He didn't know, but he surrendered and went to the party anyway.

"Uh, what's up?" Izaya tried his best to smile, one hand holding a bottle of whiskey as eyes stared down at him. He had average height, alright. Only the people around him that were enormous.

The people on the doorway seemed to look at each other, shifting thoughts in a telepathy before Shinra came to the door, his voice beaming in excitement as Izaya became more anxious than ever;

"Oh Iz! You finally came!"

"I'm a man of integrity," He replied sheepishly while holding out the bottle of whiskey which Shinra took and gave it to the host. Izaya reluctantly followed him in and stayed close, the music booming against the wall and thundering in his ears already making his head throb.

"I thought you wouldn't come," Shinra blabbered on about how happy he felt, "Something along the lines you phoning me and calling out sick,"

Izaya wouldn't admit he actually thought of that, instead he found his eyes darting around to search for his sole reason that brought him here. He'd be damned if Shinra knew he only came because of this old crush of his; but he was the one who wanted him to hook up, didn't he?

"Ow!" Suddenly he felt a weight on his back before liquid seeping through his grey shirt. He turned around immediately, half angered and confused when mocha orbs stared back at him in bewilderment, a look of shock in his face.

"God, sorry! I-I didn't mean to,"

The blond man was apologizing hastily, grabbing a cloth somewhere from his pocket to wipe the stains off Izaya's shirt but he just stood there in awe. Mouth hanging agape, he didn't even flinch, too mesmerized by the fact that he was staring at his old crush in a very close proximity.

"—aya. Izaya!"

And he snapped out of his daze, staring at Shinra's face whose waving his hand in the air to wake him up from his trance. Quickly his face turned red, and before he realized it he was pushing pass crowds of people, already on his way out to the door and barely registering his friend calling out to him.

"Kishitani, that's Izaya?" Shizuo asked upon seeing him leave.

"Apparently, but he's still socially awkward so— Heiwajima! He's unstable now!" The brunette called the blond out but he had long since gone to chase the raven for a more sincere apology. He sighed.

Almost everyone around them knew how awkward Izaya felt amongst crowds, and Shizuo just so happened to be one of them.

 **So Shizuo called Izaya "cutie"; too girly I know but I can't find something less cheesy**


	3. Chapter 3

No no no no no! Shizuo saw me like this!! It's embarrassing, oh God no what is he going to think now I don't even have a shot to woo him oh no oh no everything is over now I'm so damned and people were watching us goddamnit should have phoned Shinra and knock myself cold dammit dammit fuck myself fuck my life what should I do—

A knock on the door had his thoughts freezing as crimson orbs widened out in fear and horrification. The stain still on his clothes as he sniffled a little and wiped the tears threatening to spill prior to an incurable illness he experienced, waiting for another knock or anything that showed presence on the other side of the door.

"Izaya? Is that you? Saw you running up here,"

It was Shizuo, the Shizuo Heiwajima he had had a crush on since first year in college. Also, the one who spilled carbonated drink on his shirt just few minutes ago. Was currently fucking standing in front of his house, fucking talked in a gentle voice and fucking consoling him;

No, Izaya didn't buy it, not after all these years. He waited for another reply;

"Uhm, I'm sorry? Look, I just wanna check if you're okay,"

"..." Izaya still held his ground and said nothing. He was curled up in his sofa in a crouching position, still waiting for— what was it he waited anyway?

"Izaya, it's been a while but please? Didn't mean to give you nightmares, cutie,"

Right, that's the safe word. The ravenette wiped his tears and peeled himself off the couch before proceeding to open the door. He resisted the urge to hug the blond man and punch little fists in his guts again like he did few years ago, only staring up at him in silence.

But it was the blond who hugged him, whispering words like "Thank God, you're okay you're okay," before releasing him and looked at him in the eye. "Good?"

Izaya didn't reply, only allowing him space to enter his safe haven of a house. Shizuo said nothing either, except pulling his delicate fingers inside with him before a soft click reached his ears signaling Izaya locking the door in fear of any intruders.

"This is a nice place," Shizuo commented out as he looked around, fingers still strangely entertwined with Izaya's making him anxious.

"...Shizuo," He said in a slow voice that hindered on whispers but enough for the elder man to hear.

"Yeah?"

"I-I'm gonna change my clothes. Make yourself at home," He mumbled out before prying the fingers off, disappearing into his own room to get a change.

Oddly Shizuo found it reassuring that Izaya was quickly returning to his old self. Hard to admit, but he had somehow missed this lithe man in a way he could never understand. Something about his intelligence and awkwardness made him interesting, well, attractive enough for him to say the least.

He smiled to himself. Honestly he didn't expect to see Izaya here, especially since no one said his house was nearby. And he hadn't meant to scare the man away. He knew how terrified Izaya was to be in a crowd or the centre of attention, and it wasn't the first time he ran off just like that in the middle of a commotion. Guess the illness was incurable after all without the help of a confidence specialist.

"D-Do you want tea?" He heard sniffles coming from Izaya but ignored it anyway, "Or coffee?"

"Tea would be nice," Shizuo replied before sauntering across the room to take a seat at the dining table.

Surprisingly, the silence slicing the air was soothing. Shizuo looked at him contentedly as he poured the hot water into a cup. When Izaya finally turned he asked,

"What? Something on my back?" And he actually turned to see his back by craning his neck but the blond man chuckled.

"Nope, just you,"

"...just me?" Izaya asked cautiously.

"Just you," Shizuo repeated and gave him a charming smile which Izaya dismissed quickly and sat across him.

"Thanks," Shizuo said as he took the cup of tea into his hand and Izaya nodded awkwardly.

For a moment they said nothing, just enjoying the night tea before the blond decided to break the ice.

"Heard you work as a journalist now,"

"Uh yeah, I guess. Helps paying the rent and stuffs," Izaya answered sheepishly with a small smile. "And, you as a photographer,"

"Oh yeah, that," He laughed and leaned back a little, "I'm all for the media it seems,"

Izaya stiffled a laughter by sipping the cup of tea. Having Shizuo as company after two years wasn't half as bad as he thought, rather it was still soothing; perhaps Shinra was right after all.

Speaking of the devil...

"Did Shinra call you out? To come?" He suddenly asked and mentally slapped himself for not coming up with a better introduction for the topic. But at least he tried to veer the direction of this conversation into something, right?

"Ah yeah, that he did. But he said nothing about you living just one level away from the host's place," The blond answered truthfully, "Otherwise I'd have stopped by and said hello, cutie,"

Flirt.

Shizuo Heiwajima was, and still a huge flirt. He'd say things that could melt him into puddles of emotion, leaving him in stray and plucking flower petals where he chanted "love me" "love me not" "love me";

Hard as it sounded, Izaya blushed anyway, knowing full well that Shizuo didn't flirt much with others, except with him. Not that he minded but it left him restless and he continued drinking that cup of tea to hide his growing discomfort from the suddenly piercing gaze of his old, no, simply his crush, now.

"Did that bother you?" He silently asked, heart picking up a pace as he voiced it out.

"Slightly," Shizuo answered. "But all is well now that I see you,"

Stop it.

He didn't like falling in love with this man; not head over heels at least. It wasn't the upcoming experience he dreaded most, rather the sweet words that might come out from those sinful lips—

"Reminded me of how adorable you were,"

No.

"And how diligent you were,"

Shizuo—

"That I'd like to capture every single moment in this particular lens, right up to the day I die,"

Izaya's heart stopped. His eyes shifted to look at the DSLR he never realized hanging onto Shizuo's neck as the man pressed a button and took the perfect shot of him. Blushing, vulnerable, speechless beyond words;

"Won't you?" He grinned charmingly,

"Love?"

so Shizuo proposed :3

honestly I love the idea of someone proposing with cameras at hand xD it's so sweet tho but I dont think it'll ever happen in real life lol

anywayyyy yes Shizuo is a huge flirt in my story lol


	4. Chapter 4

If anything Izaya Orihara disliked the most, was sweet-talking him into doing things.

He remembered people always, always did this to him whenever help was indeed. Whether it's for their paperworks or projects, sweet-talking would somehow veer to his way and before he knew it he was falling.

And he fell.

So, so deep that he hated the feeling;

Hated the overwhelming aftermath they always let him taste once the deed was finished. Sure they paid, only with words though.

Each time this happened he'd find himself in despair. Mourning, pouting, grumbling; never a good mood until eventually, Shizuo would come to the rescue, and sweet-talk him but not into selfishness;

Rather to comfort himself.

Shinra never knew about this of course because he showed disinterest towards said blond whenever the brunette was around. Their meetings consisted of books and Shakespeare and Sherlock Holmes in the college library, in which Shizuo only knew one phrase to start up their conversation;

"What dost thou?"

"Nothing. " Izaya would reply just like Othello did in Shakespeare's play but Shizuo would only chuckle, taking a seat right next to him and commenting along the lines, "Literature arts aren't my thing."

Dishearteningly Izaya would reply, "Your existence is an art itself," though never aloud, never heard by anyone save for himself.

He never disliked the company. He enjoyed every minute spent with the man as his love for him growing steadier day by day. In times when Izaya was feeling out of the blue or moody beyond coherent thoughts, he'd be there, hands holding a DSLR while sometimes bringing him chocolate. Izaya never told him that he disliked chocolates, but he ate it anyway since everything Shizuo gave him was good.

It wasn't as if life with Shiki wasn't half as good. He just didn't get pampered that much compared to with this blond man. The old man was married for all he cared so he was in no way existed in the man's life and Izaya preferred things to stay that way.

And he was moving on, alright. He's just slightly scared of what Shizuo might took him if he confessed, scared that they might not maintain the same relation they had been sharing.

Shinra couldn't console him like he did. In no time he'd rant about unimportant things like, why won't Celty, that chick he's obsessed with love him back; or why are the bone in your right arm called radius ulna; or was it the left? Izaya never knew, not that he wanted to anyway but it got annoying and before he knew it he was as grumpy as ever, perhaps worse.

Things were hellish when it came down to Shinra and his stupid blabberings. Yes, he's a good friend but he just couldn't stand half of the things he said.

Which was why he needed a getaway, even if it meant to sacrifice his heart for a forbidden love he knew he could never attain. He wasn't lovesick though, he just needed company. And Shizuo just so happened to be appealing enough that he shared almost everything. Yep, almost.

And the blond. Oh god, *that* blond man. He'd reply in a way Izaya found soothing, calming. Of course he never admit it aloud, and it'd be funny to praise someone like that.

Not to mention, Shizuo *never* judge. Like he said, he was the perfect guy in movies who had many friends, many colleague and the perfect harmonious family who happened to be friendly with everyone including those of outcasted characters. His charming attitude melted millions especially the ladies, but something made him wonder if he was special in any kind of way for this man.

Yes he adored him, so much that he spent the night giggling whenever Shizuo would text, calling him "cutie" and whatnot. For a while he thought that maybe now was the time, to let the cat out of the bag but he was reluctant. Oh, woe is me, he'd say, but the morning after left him thinking perhaps it was fine after all to keep going like this.

The uncertainty of the relationship jist made everything the more overwhelmed and enhanced in a way he quietly liked. He didn't mind if nobody said love to him (not even his family did) but the comfort was all that mattered. Without comfort he was a no man, and they'd said that no man is an island, so company was certainly best whenever he needed one.

And even though he couldn't quite snuggle himself up against Shizuo, he never minded this fact. Clingy, he must've been at times but to be loved like that? Perhaps it wasn't right at the moment. What if the blond had a crush for a girl he didn't know? Or what if the blond was waiting for another man to take his feelings into overdrive so he let it out on me?

He thought too much, oh he really did. But the giddiness of it all came down to resolve and unfold once he was back to the blond's man league, secretly inserting himself to his field of vision when they talked, talked and talked. He was content with what he had for the time being.

But right now.

Looking at Shizuo's mocha irises had inflicted some inner emotions he never knew would resurface. Sure he had loved the man but did he still want him? To be loved, to be pampered full time; up till the day they die?

He had uncertainties. And for the first time it overwhelmed him more than should and didn't enhance his life one bit.

At all.

Tbh I've nvr read Shakespeare till the end because I cant seem to grip the meaning for each sentence even in the first page otl Sure I read the translated ones but the original ones always tell better stories, you know? :')

And if someone is okay to help me out, I'd appreciate it so much


	5. Chapter 5

thanks for all the reviews ;;;; I appreciate them a lot :3 They make me so happy even though I cant reply all of them xD

Pushing the heavy door open, a sweet scent infiltrated his nostrils once he stepped into the cafe. The interior looked awfully pink, like some fairies just barfed their guts out in pixie dusts but oddly, that was not the case with Orihara Izaya.

His crimson orbs were fixed on the unruly blond hair that popped up somewhere at the corner of the cafe like some sort of weird-looking grass. He smiled to himself but ignored him anyway, proceeding to drag his feet towards the counter and placing his orders.

One cup of espresso and a roll of cinnamon bun afterwards, he secretly made his way to the blond, silently inviting himself to join him. Shizuo tilted his head upwards upon hearing the unfamiliar thud of styrofoam on a table, followed by the rustles of a paper bag.

He smiled, unplugging his ears and stopped whatever the thing he's playing in his Macbook Air.

"Free seat?" Izaya asked nervously as he made himself comfortable, his slingbag now lying on the seat next to him and he fixed his hair a little. Too girly? Probably, but he didn't care; old habits die hard they say.

"Of course," Shizuo replied in that enticingly warm voice, "Breakfast?"

The ravenette picked up his package of cinnamon bun with a nervous smile, "Right here,"

Shizuo chuckled before sipping his cup of hot chocolate, Izaya silently tearing the package off before starting to munch. The blond's intense gaze never wavering and he felt more nervous than ever but he ignored it anyway, just shifting his line of vision elsewhere.

"Love," Shizuo called him out, "Eyes,"

Reluctantly Izaya drifted his eyes back to its original place before widening as a flash caught him off guard, the bread slipping off his hand.

"Wha—"

"Never stray, remember?" Shizuo grinned mischievously as he waved the DSLR in the air. In reflex, Izaya immediately got up to take the camera away but Shizuo had long since stretching his arm, far enough for the raven to not reach it.

"Shizuo! I was not ready!!"

"That's what love is about," He chuckled, "You're never ready,"

Izaya gave up and pouted in his seat as Shizuo took another shot of him, unguarded. He's starting to feel annoyed with his boyfriend and regretted his life decision for agreeing last night, but when Shizuo leaned over to kiss him fully on the lips, he quickly forgot about the whole thing.

It was chaste, but sufficient.

"There. Was that good of an apology?" Shizuo asked in a husky voice, still too close to his comfort but he shook his head playfully, silently asking for another kiss which he complied instantly.

"Good?" He asked again and Izaya smiled, pink dusting his cheeks as he nodded and Shizuo retracting to his own seat. "Well then, don't distract me from work,"

"Work?" Izaya frowned, finally taking the fallen bun and continued munching on.

The blond nodded unconsciously, eyes now focused on the screen as he expertly switched between Photoshop and some other digital editing apps. Izaya silently crept out of his seat and snuggled his way up to Shizuo's shoulder, quietly eating his breakfast as he watched.

Shizuo said nothing at this but relaxed his shoulder anyway when the raven decided to lay his head on it.

"Nee isn't that Kida Masaomi?" Izaya questioned.

"Mhm," Shizuo nodded, "Famous, ain't he?"

Izaya replied in a nod, finally finishing his bread and reaching over to his own cup of coffee, "Heard he's having an affair with some gang leader,"

"Gang leader?" The blond asked subconsciously, piqueing slight interest in the topic. "Last time I heard he's dating some punk, but not exactly a bad one,"

"That's the deal." Izaya sipped his espresso, "That punk kid is a leader for some gang called Dollars. He's barely 18 if I remember correctly, from Raijin just like Kida,"

"What's up with them anyway?"

"Well, in showbizness you can't just easily call yourself gay and stuffs. It'd risk your ratings and chances of people to hire you," Izaya explained, "So when rumours spread like wildfire, it's only fair for them to whether hide the truth or spill the beans out,"

Shizuo's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "But most of them are fine telling me,"

"Maybe because you're just the same as them?" The ravenette glanced at him before fixing his gaze back onto the laptop, "Either that or they trust you enough,"

"Aren't you then?"

"What?" Izaya asked.

"Trust me enough?" It was Shizuo's turn to look at him.

The raven journalist only smiled, "Haven't I told you last night?"

Shizuo replied the smile with one of his own. Memories from last night came flooding into his mind and he found warmth spreading around his entire being right before he knew it.

"So you're proposing me to become..."

"My lover, yes," Shizuo smiled at him, hand still holding that favourite gadget of his and Izaya found himself in a sea of reluctance.

He was scared to become one part of this man; not for the possibility of him leaving but will he ever cherished the man like he asked for? Absolutely not; Izaya Orihara was nowhere near good in making someone else happy, let alone figuring things that will cheer them up. Sure he'd try, but they'd get tire out easily they'd stop loving him at once.

But Shizuo—

He seemed different; he seemed strangely ordinary? And Izaya liked being ordinary; to blend in with others just right even though they were strangers, to mix into a group where nobody cared whom nobody were as a person;

Izaya really loved that.

He wished he could become one, but he knew he'll never achieve it. So should he accept this blond man in his life to complete the void within him? Or should he pass this opportunity and hope for another knight in shining armour?

"Love is a smoke and is made with the fume of sighs," He finally said.

"...pardon?" Shizuo asked, dumbfounded. His mouth slightly gaping in question and Izaya smiled.

"'The world has not been too kind a place for lovers, be it in the past or in this very era'; Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare." Once finished, Shizuo laughed and Izaya continued to smile.

"Clever indeed,"

The ravenette looked at him with softened eyes, "Did that answer your question?"

"Most certainly did,"

Before he leant over and gave the man a kiss.

Shakespeare again

anyway, the story ended here actually...it's just an idea that's been bugging my mind and I had fun writing Shizuo in here xD

Reviews if you want smut, people :33 not a promise tho since..I practically suck at it bleh


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